I didn't even know what a "dossier" was until about a month ago - much less how to spell it. But now I live in a whole new world - a world with a whole new language that includes words like "dossier", "home study", "conspicuous family", "attachment disorder" - I live in adoption world.
Now I look at someone driving a new car and think, "The money it took to pay for that car could totally pay for our adoption." I've revised our household fire safety plan to include grabbing the two adoption binders on the way out of the house (I would lock them in the fire proof safe if I didn't use them almost daily!) I find myself looking forward to a week away during Thanksgiving break because it will give us a chance to catch up on our adoption education credits. I now say crazy things like, "The notary's commission expiration date must be at least 18 months into the future." Who talks like this? Who thinks like this? The answer is simple: a mother who dreams about bringing home her little boy every day. A mother who will do whatever it takes (including TB tests, home studies, criminal background checks, and making sure the notary's commission doesn't expire before the appropriate amount of time) to bring her boy home.
I cannot help but be blown away with Jenn's commitment! She even said the other day that she'd gladly trade away the paperwork in exchange for the nausea! But do not be mistaken, she is singular in her focus, and God willing, that boy, whoever he is, WILL be coming home with us one day, come Hell or high water, as they say. Isn't this such a great mirror of the Gospel? That we are lost in sin, dead spiritually, and without hope until God sends His son to die for us to pay the cost of our sin so we can be reconciled to Him! In the same way our little boy is currently clueless - he has no idea that this southern, middle class, white family is spending hours working, praying, crying, laughing, and raising money to come to where he is and bring him home to his forever family. He is not searching for us. He is not calling out to us, begging to come here. He is simply going about his day, whatever that entails. I am sharing the Gospel with others now more than ever because in being an adoptive father, I'm getting a whole new picture of God's great love and sacrifice for us. What we are doing, tough as it is for us some days, is so tiny compared to God's great care. That he planned before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1) to love us while we were yet sinners and send His son for us so we would be reconciled to Him (Romans 5). What a Glorious Father we have!!